21 and invincible. Passive/Aggressive. Manic/Depressive. Recovering anorexic, orthorexic, and self mutilator. I started this path by choice, and now its taken over, once again. I don't have the energy to try and stop it. I don't like mirrors, and I have scars that make even the most experienced psychiatrists cringe. thats all folks.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Lesser of 2 evils?
being medicated and gaining weight as a side effect of the meds and working out 3 hours a day/going crazy trying not to be fat so I don’t fall back into my disordered eating habits
OR
not being medicated and potentially slipping back into using cutting as a coping mechanism.
For the record, this is NOT what I imagined my 20s being like. Not at all. I swore I’d be better by now.
The habit of fucking with the dosages of your meds is common among bipolar people; since we don’t trust doctors, we figure our ideas are better than theirs, and so we add and subtract pills all the time. This rarely has good effects.
Madness: A Bipolar Life, Marya Hornbacher
